Shopping. I love it. Some of my best memories are going to thrift stores with my parents. I bought some of my favorite cherished treasures shopping at thrift stores. SO when my mom called me earlier this week saying she was taking me thrift store shopping for our day out together I was ecstatic.
I woke up with anticipation. I was going to spend the day with my parents shopping for clothes. I couldn’t be more excited!
I have had a rocky relationship with my mom since coming out trans. She is a very conservative evangelical Christian. I have had to endure misgendering, preaching and deadnaming from her this entire time. When she called me that morning with the news she was taking me clothes shopping for my new job I was in tears over joyed.
It started out slow. We walked into that Goodwill store together mother and daughter. She walked to the back of the store to look at the junk first. She sent me off to find outfits for work on my own. I spent a few minutes working my way through the blouses, the dresses, the skirts and then the t shirts. As I walked through the women’s clothing section unable to find a single outfit that I would wear to work my mom walked over and saved the day. She said to me in a stern voice, “I hate doing this but I want you to look cute at work.” From that moment on she spent the rest of the day walking through the aisles with me asking me about my colors, style and dress size.
After a few minutes she picked out a pair of outfits that she thought would look good on me for my new job. She sent me into the dressing room to try them on. I went in and undressed to try them on. Once I figured out which blouses would work and which ones would and wouldn’t work I returned to my mom with the new information. She paid for my clothes and we drove to the second store to repeat the process.
Spending the day with my mom is a rarity since I started transitioning. I cherish every moment we spend together because I know I have to fight for scraps of affection from my parents. Scraps my cishet sisters don’t have to fight nearly as hard for. Getting to spend the entire day with my mom doing a decidedly mother-daughter feminine activity was more than enough to bring me to tears. I will hold onto the memory of that day for the rest of my life. Even as I write this I am wiping away tears from my eyes. I know my mother loves me. I know that she can dig beyond her bigotry and find a way to accept a small piece of my life in an effort to see me stand on my own two feet. For that reason I will wear those outfits as proud as I am queer in honor of her belief in me.
I will fight to stand on my own. I will use the tools my mother equipped me with so that I could succeed in that role. I will honor my mothers wishes by representing her in that office. I hope I can make her proud. I love my mother so very much.
Stephanie Bri 