I’m dealing with a lot in my personal life above all the crazy stuff going on around the world and here in the US. So I wanted to take the time to put out some positivity for a change to hopefully counterbalance all the negativity I have even myself added to people’s lives. I hope this helps others find their own source of joy while helping me let go of the negative feelings I am battling.
I want to just write about a few things that do bring me joy and maybe why they are important to me. I wanna kinda make this semi organized, as is my way, but still kinda openended in a way.
Cats
I love cats. I have had plenty of pets in my life, from dogs to birds and even a hamster once. While I try to give every pet I bring into my life the same amount of love they all deserve, no animal has ever won my affection like my cats.
I wanna be up front I have had a LOT of cats that, let’s just say would have rather had their teeth pulled than give me the time of day, sure. However I have only had, in my entire life, exactly 3 cats that bothered to get close to me.
The first was Itty Bitty Kreepa Kat with a K and an A, aka Kreepa. or creeper as my sisters called her because whatever. I had her when I was a teenager, from the age of 16 to the age of 17. This was way back in the dark ages of the dusty old 90s, long before the infamous exploding grass monster in Minecraft, so no sher was not named after my arch nemesis. She was a kitten that my sister’s cat spawned. Unfortunately as it was a long ass time ago, I don’t remember her cat’s name or anything about it just it was my cats mother.
What I do remember about Kreepa is she was mine and I was hers. She would curl up in a ball and rest on my shoulder. No matter what I did or where I went she would follow like a happy puppy. Unfortunately due to reasons I can’t fully remember due to being lost to time, I remember having her then one day not having her, but honestly I have no memory of what happend. It could have been she succumbed to the dangers of the world and I blocked it out due to emotional trauma. It could have been we moved and couldn’t take her with us or it could have been she ran away. I honestly don’t remember because she was far from the first cat I had that I had to give up, but I do remember she was the first one I was allowed into her heart as well. I will never forget the brief time we had together, even if I can’t fully remember how it ended.
The next cat I had fallen in love with mutually was simply named Grayson. He was not named after anyone in my world to my knowledge. He was a cat some elderly lady in my community was trying to rehome and I ended up with him and his sister, Shadow. Since they were full grown adults when I got them, I opted to keep the names she gave them. Shadow, was a feral beast who ultimately escaped out into the wild to never return one sad day and I never found her. Grayson became my soulmate for a time. Like most things in my life, again my time with him was short lived. I barely had him for around 2 and a half years total. During that time he was the absolute most like a dog of any cat I have ever had. He hunted the vermin in the house, tormenting the snakes and spiders that gave me heartburn on a daily basis. He curled up in a ball on my shoulder too and would wrap his tail around my kneck and purr affectionately all day. When I came home from college he was at the front door hopping happy to see me. He even came when I called him as any loyal pupper would so he won me over quickly.
Unfortunately because I was in college at the time I neded up moving into the college apartments on campus to save money on rent. As such I had to rehome him again. This time I gave him to a 12 year old autistic girl from my mom’s church and he went to a good home so I said goodbye and let him find a new person.
Then there is the cat I have now. His full name is Johnny Buddy Budikins Cage III. I named his myself. I named him the 3rd because he was the 3rd cat I fell in love with and so far he’s been the longest pet I have ever owned save for one dog I don’t wanna talk about here. Buddy, as I call him mostly because he was also an adult when I got him and his previous person called him that too., has become my best friend. He doesn’t sit on my shoulder nor does he bother to wrap his tail around my kneck. However he responds to my needs and he does sit with me most of the time. He’s a little more independent that the other cats I have spent time with but he comes to me when I need him, not always when I want him but always when I need him. And unlike those other cats, who I still loved in their own way, he sleeps with me every night.
Puppies and lap dogs
I will be the first to tell you dogs are demons. In general I hate these violent, flesh eating monsthers some humans find it worthwhile to tame. Especially big dogs and loud dogs. Any sized dog who is aggresive earns a spot on me hit list. But I love puppies and lap dogs. Specifically Chiauauas, (sp), Yorkies, and Weirner dogs. I could open my heart to others but never big dogs. Never agressive dogs. and never hunting dogs.
Unlike cats who I have had plenty who didn’t even know I existed despite being their human, I have, to be fair, never had a dog that didn’t treat me like I was the absolutely most important living creature in the entire world. Dogs are hella loyal and decidedly affectionate, when you let them, that much is true. However, and this is the basis for most of my animosity. Even the most well behaved , well trained dog can turn on a dime and become a viscious flesh eating monster with little to no notice. Let me be clear. I have been VIOLENTLY attacked on seven very distinc times in my life by all manner of dog. As a young child I had a dog named Buster I loved and adored. I didn’t come into this world disliking the beasts. It took years of getting bit followed by naive owners saying “they never bite anyone, they’re so well behaved” before I came to accept that ALL dogs WILL bite you seemingly for NO reason. The first four attacks were entirely and 100 percent unprovoked. I was just being friendly with a friend or neighbors dog who all of a sudden thought I was lunch. The first attack I was only 6 years old. The second attack came latter that same year.
Obviously this jaded me right away but since my immediate family and cousins all had dogs that never bothered me I didn’t immediately jump to being afraid of all dogs right away. It was the last few attacks that turned me against the entire species as a whole.
I want to stop there because this is supposed to be about positivity. So now I wanna turn my focus to the dogs I do love. First is the aformentioned Buster. He wasn’t literally my first dog, from what my parents have told me, but he is the first one who sticks in my memory so to me at least, he was the first. And he WAS the best. I ended up having to give him to my uncle who lived on a farm, and no that isn’t code for anything he really did go live with my uncle on a farm and I did get to visit him from time to time. Until, sadly, he did the thing. I wasn’t there so I don’t know why or what prompted it but he bit one of my young cousins and that was that, he was put down and I had to say goodbye to him a second time.
The second dog I wanna talk about was one my mom named NaNa. She was a half German Shepherd half Border Collie cross breed. She was friendly, affectionate and, yes, very protective of me and my sisters. Here is the good part of the story. She was hit by a car and I had to rush her to the vet one moring. Her throat was gashed and hanging off her kneck. Fortunately she survived and recovered. We had her in our lives for several more years until once again we moved into an apartment that disallowed pets and gave her away.
Then there is Bear. I got him for my 16th birthday. I had Bear until he died of old age over a decade later. He was the “mans best friend” dog you hear about. He slept in my bed, followed me everywhere, followed my commands and sat at my feet when I wasn’t asleep. He was the absolute BEST of any pet I have ever had, including my best cats, so yes there was a time when my favorite animal alive was in fact, a dog. I have had other dogs since Bear but ONLY small lap dogs and forever that will be the case. If I ever get another dog, which I am not categorically against, it would be such a type. Never again will I be in the rpesence of ANY dog, mine or anothers, large enough to cause me physical harm. Those days are long gone.
Comic books
Once upon a time I had the attention span and the drive to read novels every single day. I ended up reading more books than I will ever realistically be able to count. As time went on and my bipolar brain made my attention span and concentration skills ever smaller and harder to focus, I moved away from full on novels and shifted fully into comics. This wasn’t a gradual or all at once thing, I’ve always been into comics, as far back as I can remember. It’s just today I can read a comic book fully while novels are harder to get into. I still occasionally pick up a book it just takes me longer to finish than it used to so it’s not as common as it used to be. But most comic books are not only much shorter and often easier to read than a full novel, they also have artwork and stories I am drawn to. I don’t need pictures to read or enjoy a book, but they do make reading comics easier for me today and so I find myself picking up a comic easier than I would a novel these days.
I could give you the runaround like many comics fans do about compelling stories, interesting characters, etc., and those things are true too but what I like about comics is even when part of a larger narrative, they are usually self contained stories I can pick up, enjoy and toss aside with little after thought. I read and collect comics, I don’t analyze or discuss them in depth. I also don’t have any brand loyalty. I would be as happy reading a book from Marvel or DC as I would an indie comic nobody else has ever read. I truly ENJOY reading comics, not just collecting them. However, I don’t usually get invested in the larger story arcs. I have a few collected editions of specific stories like X-Cutioner’s Song and Age of Apolcalypes, to name two. But I generallty just grab a random floppy, flip through it, then discard it and move on. This is just how I read comics, not saying it’s how everyone else should. I am going to be honest though, as much as this might upset some folks, I never cared about the art one way or the other. I don’t get anamored by an “amazing” cover or “spectacular” panel, I just see the art as a part of the storytelling process and nothing more. It’s not to be dismissive of the artwork it just doesn’t register in my brain one way or the other. I just sorta tune it out. Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate good comic book art, it’s just not the motivating factor to my enjoying a book.
Chips
A lot of people have comfor food or things that make them smile when they eat. Most enjoy ice cream, cookies or cakes of some sort. Not me. I prefer chips. I generally tend to lean towards standard potato chips but I am not opposed to a good corn based chip or even the potato flake product Pringles tries to pass off as a chip adjecent snack. I just love the crispy, crunch of a good chip. Again I have zero brand or flavor loyalty. Monday I might grab a bag of some off brand BBQ lays style crips, Tuesday I might grab a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, Wednesday I’ll reach for a bag of of Queso flavored Ruffles, Thursday it’ll be some Taki’s Fuego and then Friday I might go for a salty sgtore brand regular old classic chip. I’m not at all picky. And yes I even eat Pringles happily when I am craving a good chip. I tend to prefer salty snacks to sweet snacks in general so I often go for a good pretzel or a bag of Chex Mix in subsitution of a bag of chips but I rarely reach for a Twinky or a Snickers bar. I don’t despise candy, at all, I just prefer chips of nearly all variety. I love eating chips with a meal, as a snack or for a meal substitute.
That should be some positive energy for the universe for right now. Stay cool.