Tomorrow I will celebrate a milestone I have never reached before in my life. I will be celebrating my three month anniversary with the lovely Christina whom I have given my heart to recently.
Earlier this summer I wrote a series of articles entitled “What is love?” that looked back on my love life over the years. One of my more loyal readers and supporters kept commenting how those articles brought her to tears. She kept saying nice things about me as I wrote them one by one peeling back the layers of my life.
Since then she has given me more than purpose in life. She has become my entire life’s focus. My work has morphed into constantly thinking how will this job get me to Canada to be closer to her. I am no longer motivated when seeking jobs based on how will this get me to the next success in life. I’ve proven time and time again I will find success in my own way, in my own time. But love is powerful. Love is worth fighting for. Love is worth moving the entire world for. My love for her is why I strive to be a better person.
We’ve barely known each other for I’d say no more than six months. Yet our days are now so intertwined I feel empty the moments she is not in them. I seek her out as soon as I see any sign she may be awake. She does the same to me if I forget to check in on her the days I get too busy. She doesn’t initiate our conversations, which is fine I understand how difficult that is for her so I take the lead. I love that she lets me make decisions but only after I have taken her feelings into consideration. I love how she will let me know when she is disappointed in me and I will correct my behavior accordingly.
Despite the fairy tale-esque allure of our romance I must admit we’ve had our dark days. There have been occasions where I’d call a friend up in tears telling them how I hurt her deeply and worried about how she would move forward. I’ve had days where we had to distance ourselves from one another due to conflict we couldn’t reconcile quickly. There aren’t many occasions where she has raised her voice but I take notice when she does. Yet I love her more and more each day as our love has transcended these various challenges to it.
The reality is we’re both human. As recent as yesterday I noticed I was kind of pushing her aside. She noticed and responded accordingly without telling me how she felt I got her to reveal how she felt. I then made it up to her with a gesture she indicated was sufficient. We sometimes spend entire days chatting on discord. During that time we’ve gotten to know each other deeply. I know her deeper than I will ever share publicly. She’s grown comfortable with me in ways I never pressured her towards yet was pleasantly surprised. Our love continues to grow each day.
I will continue to be mesmerized by her beauty. I will wake up every day grateful beyond words she chose me as her girlfriend. We’ve had our ups and downs, thankfully more ups than downs. I foresee us having many more wonderful days ahead. I write this knowing my love for her has reached a high I never thought possible. My heart beats in my chest each day in anticipation for her to answer yes to my request to call her. I still explain yay gleefully each time she grant me access into her world. The moment we connect to the time we say good night is the entire purpose for my existence. Away from her I am scrambling to fill the time as I distract my brain from the emptiness I feel when we’re apart.
Stephanie Bri 