We’ve been under constant attack from the far right in recent months. Some would argue visibility isn’t what we need right now, it’s solidarity. We need both and today is important for so many reasons.
Trans Day of Visibility is more than just reminding people Trans people exist. It’s about us showing ourselves living our best lives. It’s how we prove to the rest of the world we’re no different from them. It’s how we tell them we’re not a threat. The more people see us as regular people the more they will stand up for us to be treated like regular people. If we don’t stand up and be seen then all they have to go by is reports they see in the media. We can’t let that be our narrative.
I came out in the summer of 2020. I started transitioning at a time when it wasn’t convenient to do so. I ended up not only losing my job, my family, my friends and my home, I lost my career too. I had to change careers because I changed my name. I can’t show my writing style by linking to stories that bear someone else’s name. Not without having to explain why that person is me even though we have different names.
I had to be visible before coming out. I worked in the news media business. I was quite visible in the local community. People knew who I was. I was a staple in the town. All the important people knew my name and recognized my face. SO when those things changed so did the way people treated me. Former friends turned into enemies. Family turned its back on me. I lost my house and had to move in with a trans friend who adopted me as her sister. I had to adjust. It wasn’t easy for me.
I have had to fight for my rights living in Texas. I was illegally discriminate against by the state when I tried to apply for food stamps. I was legally entitled to the benefit but the state said trans was not a protected class and they could discriminate against me. I had to take legal action and won. By doing that I made it easier for other trans people in Texas to get their food stamps. But I had to fight for them. I had to go through the ringer and be put in the newspaper for it to happen. I gave up my privacy so other trans people would have an easier time getting benefits they were legally entitled to themselves. Nobody showed me any gratitude for this just more trolls attacking me online.
I am tired of fighting. I wanna just live my life. That is how we win. We can’t all fight all the time. If we did we’d become too drained to keep going. We have to pick our battles. I chose to fight when I had no choice. It wasn’t easy for me. To be told by the state I wasn’t protected was heartbreaking. They tried to use that against me. That didn’t stop me from pushing forward with my legal complaint. I fought for you. I did it because I had no choice. And the thanks I get is trolls attacking me on the internet. People telling me to get a job. No matter how much I struggled in trying to find a job. It was disheartening. Then the legislative and administrative attacks on Trans and nonbinary people began in full earnest.
I don’t have any fight left in me to be honest. I put myself out there for others and got nothing in return. I won a legal battle most don’t even know was fought. That is discouraging in itself. Why should I keep fighting for people who won’t appreciate what I did for them already? I have to fight for myself. I have to be visible for my own well being. Trans Day of Visibility is about US living our best lives as best we can. By being seen as normal people we win the culture war. The legal victories will follow that.
Stephanie Bri 