There is a lot more to being asexual, for me, than just disliking sex. I am averse to all things regarding sex. I dislike conversations about the topic especially graphic ones. I dislike pornographic material especially in movies and TV shows where I don’t expect to come across it. I also really detest being asked if I am a top or a bottom when I am technically neither.
It took me a long time to realize I was ace. I spent my entire life being called a Prude and a nerd for not wanting to talk about sexual stuff. I always begged my friends to change the subject whenever it came up. I was called a liar when I said I didn’t watch porn, even by teachers in school! Yet here I was as ace as can be the whole time still trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of life. I tried convincing this guy I liked that sex wasn’t important to me but it didn’t go over well.
If you take sex out of the equation human interactions became so much more tolerable. It removes all the pressure of having to treat people with dignity because you just do. It removes the pressures of wondering what a person is like in bed when it shouldn’t matter. Being ace doesn’t make me better than other people. I have contemplated why I don’t feel sexual desire. I prefer to think of it as I am just wired differently than most.
Being ace is something I shied away from for the longest time. I wasn’t sure what it meant nor how to express myself as such. I decided I needed to explore it further when I started dating an asexual woman who shared similar feelings as I had felt. Her experiences were similar to mine. After talking to her I quickly realized I had to be ace this whole time, it just made sense.
Now I wear it like a badge of honor. I am asexual and proud to say it!