Hello friends, it has been a while since my last post. I am tempted to apologize for the delay but to be honest, life has been difficult for me for the last few months so I haven’t had a chance to actually sit down and compose my thoughts in a while.
This year is already off to a strange twist compared to last year. Ya know, 2020 the year we all wanted to erase. Yeah it was actually a pretty good year for me. Well, for the most part at least. Truth is this year has not been as great. I started it right off losing my job. Of course because of reasons I can’t share I am not allowed to talk about it. And frankly I have no desire to.
I found myself basically on the verge of being homeless during what Texans are calling the Snowpacolypse. I managed to survive but not on my own. It took a Robin taking me in under her wing to not only get me back on my feet, but also to help me turn my life around in a positive way.
That bond I am forming with my sister is very special to me and exactly why I wanted to talk about why trans people need each other in our lives. More often than not so many of us lose a lot of friends and family whenever we come out as trans. I began transitioning in July and by January I was unemployed. Again I can’t go into the details but they were very much intertwined. I was afraid of coming out because I thought if I did I’d end up losing my job.
In that time since I was shunned by my family, rejected by my church, disavowed by many of my friends, basically a posterchild for the trans experience in America. Then I found Robin.
At first it was a casual interaction we me online on a site devoted to trans people. We were both looking for the same thing, a friend who knew what we were going through. Someone to share in our experience. Robin immediately helped me get a photo shoot together so I could send out a Christmas card to my friends and family showing off how happy I was transitioning. While many in my family rejected the sentiment it began what I am hoping is an inseparable bond between two sisters.
Family, as any queer person will tell you, are the people who choose to have you in their life. They are not the blood relatives that wish you harm, or reject your happiness. They are not the ones who shun you or try to change you. Family are people we bond with over shared experiences. It’s deeper than friendship yet of course not quite romantic. Thankfully Robin is married so she has a rock to lean on. I am happy for her in that regard.
As for myself. Robin took me into her life. She moved me to the city to be closer to her and better opportunities. She helped m discover my fashion. She has even begun to introduce me to a circle of friends that have not only welcomed me but at least act like they enjoy having me around. For that and more I am eternally grateful the two of us found each other. As a trans person, again as most queer people are, it can be very lonely if you don’t have a support network that includes like-minded individuals who understand what you are going through with first hand experience.
It has been a blessing being close to someone who I can relate to. It has been a breath of fresh air having someone I can lean on. Someone I can turn to when I need a big sister to give me advice. She has been all of this and so much more. Of course I wouldn’t be doing myself, my readers or Robin any favors if I also didn’t talk about her lovely wife AJ. She has also been a rock solid supporter of Robin, myself and trans people in general. She has seen first hand what we struggle with and she has stood up for us when we needed her to and she has been a comfort to those around her.
When I began transitioning I cried many nights mourning the family that was pushing me away. Now I cry tears of joy over the new and improved family God has bestowed upon me. If you have a trans person in your life, even if they don’t show it, they are going through some shit and you need to be patient with them. Be kind to them. And above all else try to be respectful to their wishes. I would have never been able to make it this far if I hadn’t found this new family.
Stephanie Bri 