This has been an exceptional week across Texas. In addition to the severe weather that has turned the state upside down, I have also made some major changes in my own personal life.
Last week I officially cut ties with my previous life once and for all. In a way this was a long time coming. It was absolutely a necessity for my own well being on so many levels. That’s not to say it hasn’t been without some difficulties but that’s a part of life. In order to move forwards sometimes you have to learn to let go.
As someone who has moved more times in my life than I can even bother counting letting go is a skill I have sharpened quite a bit in my lifetime. That doesn’t mean it is always easy. This time was different though. I wasn’t just moving to a new town or state to start over. I was completely severing ties with the family I had come to rely on for so long. It was incredibly painful knowing I wasn’t going to be around my sister and her kids anytime soon, if ever again. But it was time. They have determined they were not willing to accept my becoming a woman and thus the friction boiled over to the point of no return. Unfortunately that meant selling my house and moving.
Fortunately, and I can’t stress this enough, I was taken in by people who love me for me and won’t judge me for being the real me. The bright side is going to have to keep me going. I ended up leaving a country living in a fairly rural area to living in a city. It’s not the first time I have lived in a city but it is by far the largest city I have ever lived in. That is okay because in a way I see it not only as a new chapter in life, nor just a new adventure, I see it as the opportunity for me to finally be the real me for the first time in my life. And the best part is I don’t have to hide who I am from anyone ever again. That alone is liberating in a way that outweighs the good times with those kids I am forfeiting for my own happiness. Even though I know they can’t quite understand it right now I knew it was time I did what was best for me for once in my life.
I am quite relieved to also be in a more populated area surrounded by a larger number of people who are friendlier to people like me than where I had been. It’s not to say I had encountered much in the way of negativity but I am enjoying the opportunities. Not to mention I am excited to get connected to a larger LGBT community here than where I had been.
Life has a way of throwing us curveballs when we least expect. In my experience usually when things look like they can’t get better is right about the time great things happen. I am beyond relieved, hopeful and relaxed for the first time in longer than I can remember.
I couldn’t be happier.
Stephanie Bri 