Month: August 2023

I have been playing with action figures since I was a baby. I have been collecting action figures since I was a teenager. I went through many phases throughout my life. I didn’t want to just name my personal favorite action figure line as the best of the best. I wanted to pick the one that stood out above the rest.

When I was a kid I played with G.I. Joe, Go Bots, Transformers, He-Man, TMNT and Star Wars. At first I suspected once I sat down and analyzed all the evidence I would pick a winner from this list. I lost interest in TMNT when I discovered X-Men. I lost interest in G.I. Joe as soon as Power Rangers came along. I lost interest in Go Bots once Transformers overtook them in the market. I lost interest in Star Wars when Disney started making its fanfiction. That left me with Masters of the Universe, a toyline I despised my entire life. I was a trans girl forced to live as a boy. My dad pushed He-Man off on me, so I never had any interest in that line in the slightest.

What makes the best toy line? Do I value longevity, variety, depth, scale, vehicles or cultural impact?

If I was going by cultural impact I would have picked Star Wars. If I was going for longevity I would have picked Transformers, the only of these toy lines to never have a break in its run from introduction till today. If I put the value on depth I would have to give it to Ninja Turtle of course. That leaves vehicles which would go to G.I. Joe and scale which leaves us with Masters of the Universe. I decided to weigh these different factors against one another to determine which toy line fit the most categories even if it lacks in others.

A few years ago I got back into toy collecting after I had spent the previous 15 years devoted to retro video games. When I found myself getting back into action figures I decided to broaden the range of my collection. I decided I didn’t just want to focus entirely on Transformers, I wanted to pick from the best of the best.

Then a new toy line entered my world. It was called Fortnite. This felt like a true successor to the legacy of G.I. Joe. The figures are the same scale, same articulation and similar variety of colorful characters. I also briefly considered the impact Wrestling has had on toys but I quickly dismissed that once I learned of the over all lack of quality in that franchise.

I never thought I would say this but I decided the absolute best action figure line of all time actually is the one I least expected, Masters of the Universe. Let me explain. First you have scale. At a whopping 5-8 inches depending on toy line these toys are massive. They are muscular. They are tough guys. The very definition of an ACTION figure. They came with top notch articulation, for the time, all the way back in the early 80s. The line has struggled throughout the years coming and going, reinventing itself over and over again. While Transformers has existed in an unbroken, continuous state since its inception, He-Man has had extremely large gaps in its offerings. However this has actually worked in its favor. Unlike Transformers, which largely just retools the same figures every couple of years forcing kids and collectors alike to “double dip” every time, He-Man actually made major alterations to the line up each iteration. While the core group of characters has been maintained throughout, the toys have a history of trying new things.

I also picked He-Man because of cultural impact. While Star Wars is the clear winner in this regard, He-Man has nonetheless managed to enter the cultural lexicon without a string of big budget live-action movies to push the toys. It has maintained it’s popularity on its value solely as a toy without major media pushing it. It doesn’t even benefit from regular comic books like G.I. Joe has. It sells on its merits alone. That was a huge factor for me. As a TOY line it wins hands down because it sells TOYS, based exclusively on them existing AS toys. Literally the toys sell themselves. Even TMNT can’t say that. That is a tremendous accomplishment all things considered. Sure it has had some cartoons to help over the years, but by an large the toys have existed on toy shelves sans media to drive sales.

He-Man also has another edge over the others. It sold tremendously well in its initial run. As a result the toys are plentiful. A collector can purchase vintage Masters of the Universe toys for considerably less money than comparable G.I. Joe or Transformers figures would run you. They remain affordable for collectors of all ages to this day. This was another huge factor for me. As I turned to ebay to fill out my toy shelf I found myself buying one MOTU figure after another simply because I could afford them. TMNT figures are relatively inexpensive too but they have had a stronger media push relying heavily on help from movies, TV and comics to keep kids and collectors interested. He-Man, as I have stated, sells the toys largely on its own merits.

Then there is the durability. Retro Transformers had a lot of hard plastic and die cast metal parts. They break easily and are next to impossible to repair. This leaves collectors having to choose between buying sub-par figures or shelling out exorbitant amounts of money on the secondary market. Now that’s not to say MOTU toys don’t break, they have a major issue with the wires holding the legs together breaking. However this is actually a quite easy fix. I have had to repair a few MOTU figures in the past and it was tremendously easier than my many, failed, attempts at repairing broken Transformers figures. G.I. Joe toys break, that’s it throw it in the garbage and hold a memorial service for your now lost figure.

The other reason I picked He-Man despite my contempt for the character is the toys themselves. They were doing the massive mutants and monsters that TMNT would become known for long before TMNT was a concept. These toys are massive. They are durable. They are well made. They are fun to display. They are fun to play with. They are well sculpted. Over all they just kinda, well, rock. I know I really thought I was going to pick Star Wars but the 3 inch line does not hold up well standing next to a MOTU figure that towers over those puny Star Wars figures.

There is one final reason I gave the win to He-Man. In a word, Castle Grey Skull. The mother of all toys. The holy grail. The playset to be all playsets. The other toy lines had play sets but none of them have been as iconic as Grey Skull. So there you have it my arguments for why He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is the greatest action figure toy line of all time.

It’s very rare for a single song to come along and define an entire generation. Usually you have different eras of music. One such era wasn’t just defined by a single song, that song changed the entire recording industry and the youth culture along with it.

Of course I am talking about Nirvana’s seminole hit “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. To say this song defined my generation is an understatement. It shaped everything from our fashion, vocabulary, culture, society expectations to the way we interacted with one another. Not to mention how it changed MTV from the channel flooded with glam metal and quirky music videos to somber, rock rifts indicting American in the process.

Nirvana burst onto the scene, quite literally, out of no where. Sure they had a local indie following in their hometown of Seattle that pre-dates their dominance of radio and video stations across the country but it was that single hit, that music video, that set the tone for the entirety of the 90s youth culture. Gone were the days of glam rock. Hair metal retired. Bubblegum wouldn’t see a resurgence until Britney Spears came on the scene as the decade came to a close. Grunge was here and it was so much more than a musical movement, it was the heart and soul of the teenagers struggling to find their identity in the decade of MTV and Mountain Dew.

I first heard Smells Like Teen Spirit at a time I wasn’t even into rock. I was a hip-hop and dance girl at an early age. All my recordings were rap groups and dance/pop and electronic groups. My first tape I ever bought was Technotronic’s Pump Up The Jam: The Album. I was raised by MTV and they were known for playing a variety of pop and hip-hop tracks mixed with some hair metal and quirky punk acts. Then Nirvana changed everything.

That song took me and my peers by storm. I bought Nevermind just like everybody else. I didn’t care for the movement it started, most grunge was beyond me but that one song, that one album, gripped me in a way I can’t even put into words. We had our voice. We hard our spokesperson. We had our youth leader. It was finally going to be our world and we were ready to put our mark on it. Nirvana gave us an anthem we could march to. It inspired so many youth.

I never embraced the larger grunge rock scene, I dabbled at best preferring folky alternative like Beck and Cake but I fully embraced the style. I dressed like all the other grungy kids who said we just didn’t give a shit how we looked. Our generation said screw capitalist fashion sensibilities. We opted for comfort over style. That didn’t stop the capitalists from missing the point and trying to market their new grunge-inspired fashion to us, but it was a start.

Whenever I get nostalgic for the 90s I usually turn to a mix of West Coast G Funk. That was my bread and butter. I was fully invested in 90s hip-hop culture. But I would be lying if I didn’t quite often take a detour to revisit Smells Like Teen Spirit every once in a while. If Nirvana never happened, if they had never been a success we never would have gotten acts like Smashing Pumpkins, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Soundgarden, Bush and hell the Beastie Boys never would have given us Sabotage if Grunge hadn’t changed the world. The influence and impact of that one song was felt all across every facet of teen culture in the 90s. Even Nickelodeon embraced it. We owe a lot of our youth to that one song. Pour one out for the late, great grunge pioneer Kurt Cobain. We owe our entire identity to him.

When I was a kid, as a trans woman in hiding, I wasn’t allowed to play with Barbies. I didn’t get my first Barbie doll until I was well into my 30’s. As such I didn’t share in the memories of childhood many movie goers got to relate to in the movie. However I did enjoy it for what it was, a powerful representation of what the world could look like if feminism could catch on.

The movie takes shots at the patriarchy and has started a national conversation about the roles women play in our society. For that it gets props. The movie has a female supreme court, a woman president and a lead character who is just living her best life without a man telling her what to do or defining her. In fact the movie makes it a point to show Ken basically exists just to pine for Barbie. This is reflected in his heartfelt, chart-topping mega hit “I’m Just Ken” which is the films breakout musical number. Speaking of musical numbers the film has plenty of those magical moments punctuated by fantastic song and dance scenes.

The movie is eye-opening for little girls all across the world. It has children asking their parents and teachers to explain just what even is the patriarchy. The film references it no less than ten times. And them there is that fabulous, game-changing speech delivered by the always fabulous American Ferrera. I fell in love with her acting way back in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, another win for feminism in it’s own right.

The movie has proven women are fed up with the way men rule the world. They want, nay, demand change right now. The fact it was the first film to cross a billion dollars with a female solo director is a big win for women the world over. This movie was more than a 2-hour toy commercial, it was a scathing indictment of the male dominance women have to navigate on a daily basis. That speech brought me to tears. As a trans woman there is extra pressure on me to “pass” and look even more like the stereotypical female than our cis sisters have to face. It’s exhausting. This movie isn’t going to bring down the patriarchy over night but it absolutely is “shots fired” and what a salvo it was! The fact the men in the film are also spreading that feminist message is pure joy to me. It’s our time to shine. Women are done hiding in the shadows defined by their male counterparts. Feminism is alive and well and with a billion dollars in the bank that makes a bold statement girls are desperate to change the world they’re growing up in.